One of my absolute favorite movies is Sex and the City 2. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the first one, but there’s some serious brutal honestly portrayed in the second film. My favorite scene, is when Charlotte’s daughter Lily, wipes her icing- filled hands on her mother’s skirt after being ignored. As you can see, Charlotte is trying to talk on the phone, bake, hold a crying toddler, and focus her attention on her older daughter at the same time. Rarely as a mother, are you only doing one thing at a time.

Charlotte's house in SatC 2-Elle Decor

Though I can’t relate to having red icing handprints wiped on a vintage cream Valentino skirt; I can understand the exhaustion, and frustration that sometimes comes with being a mom, and trying to do it all. The end of this scene is her screaming at her daughter for ruining the skirt, and then going into the pantry “for a time out,” to hide and cry.

As a mother, the authenticity of this scene is so very appreciated, and something desperately needed in society. I’m asked all the time, “How are you?” or “How are the kids,” and my answer is always “Great,” or “Fine,” and it simply isn’t the truth.

I’m not allowed to say “Mommy lost her shit today and screamed at everyone,” or “I had to turn Netflix on for the kids, before I went insane.” That simply isn’t acceptable. We are supposed to be happy all the time, and enjoy every second with our kids, but that’s a lie. You hear alot of “They’re only young once.” or “enjoy every second, it goes so fast.” Now this is true, the years go by very quickly, but sometimes the days are very long. This is the part that’s gravely misunderstood.

Just because I don’t want to hear my name shouted 3000 times in a row, or I get upset when I have to clean up spilled beverages for the tenth time today, doesn’t mean I love my kids any less. Needing alone time doesn’t mean I want a life without them. I’m not taking time with them for granted, if every moment of every day isn’t a wonderful experience. This is life, and sometimes it’s really really hard. Some days I feel like an amazing mother and my kids are complete angels, and other days I am counting the minutes until bedtime, so I can breathe and feel like a human being again.

In the movie, Charlotte is well off, has a nanny, and is still overwhelmed with her kids and life. It just goes to show, this parenting thing is hard for everyone at times.

Image result for charlotte and miranda at the ends of movie 2

By the end of the movie, Charlotte can relate to, and empathize with Miranda a lot more; Who is usually blunt, a little pessimistic, and doesn’t sugar coat this parenting thing. I always thought, (before having kids) that I would be the Charlotte. I’ve realized (three kids later) that I’m the Miranda, and I’m damn proud of it.

I have to remind myself sometimes just how much I have on my plate. I went from being a mother of one to a mother of three. That was a huge adjustment on everyone, but especially as a mother, it was just tough. It wasn’t in my plan, but it was in God’s.

That being said, parenting isn’t a “one size fits all,” kind of thing. I have to navigate my way through it, the best that I possibly can. My journey through parenthood/motherhood will look a lot different than yours. I kind of think that’s the most beautiful part about it all.

So, I won’t apologize for the mess. I’m allowed to get upset, I’m allowed to cry. It’s okay to not love every moment, despite what others may say. We don’t have to always be great. It doesn’t have to always be perfect. No, i’m not always fine, but that’s okay.

-Gypsy Hearted Mama

17 thoughts on “No, i’m not fine.

  1. I love this post so much! That’s so true, I talk about it often, it’s hard to admit that sometimes mama loses her sh*t too. Especially with social media it appears that we have it all together. Love being able to witness your awesome journey mama!

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  2. Okay, I absolutely love this post. It is so hard to admit it sometimes, but yes I do lose my @#$*. Yes, I do turn on the TV often. Yes, I swear quite a bit. I’m not perfect and that’s totally okay!

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  3. This is one of my favorite movies as well and I get so emotional during that scene when Charlotte hides in the pantry. It’s motherhood in the raw. We are allowed to feel the way we do. It doesn’t make us terrible mothers. If anything it makes us better.

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  4. Love this!! Sometimes we get so caught up in the mother role that we forget that we’re also human. Great read mama! ❤

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  5. I love this! Mamas have such a hard time because we feel like we have to keep it together for the sake of everyone else, but we can feel how we need to and its okay!

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  6. You don’t have a Valentino skirt?! 😊

    All this mama, I can relate with every word. Hopefully the more we have conversations about the realness of motherhood, then this unrealistic expectation of what we should be can start to go away.

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  7. I feel you mama! Being a mom is so tough sometimes. In fact, I had probably 5 breakdowns yesterday. It’s the hardest, craziest, scariest, most exhausting and chaotic thing ever, but so rewarding and beautiful too.

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  8. Loved this post!! I also agree that social media makes us feel like we have to be 110% all the time and that’s just not possible. We are all human and just like our children have a lot of emotions that they are trying to work through, so do we.

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  9. I agree 100%. Every mother has their own unique journey and we each handle parenthood differently. There’s this “unspoken” rule that women need to have it under control in all aspects of life and that is 100% not true. We are human, and there are days where we break down. It’s our job to break the stigma that mothers need to be perfect and have it all together.

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  10. This is definitely me! I allow myself to feel the way I feel, then when I come into terms I will see what can I do to get out of this funk? Taking a deep breath or simply a walk can help with feeling overwhelmed.

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  11. I love this! Mamas are humans too, despite what social media sometimes leads us to believe, and it’s so important for our kiddos to see us expressing our emotions. So great that they responded with compassion and understanding. You’re doing amazing! ❤

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  12. WOW, how true are your words!?! My first reply when anyone asks how I am is “fine.” but sometimes I’m not fine!! I’m glad to hear you say these words because it’s okay to not be okay sometimes and we need to talk about it more!

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  13. I absolutely love this! You are not alone in feeling this way. I think it’s important to show the reality of parenting & that no, it’s not always sunshine & rainbows & we don’t always like it & that’s okay.

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  14. Motherhood is a crazy upside down, topsy-turvy thing sometimes – it’s hard under the best of circumstances and frankly most people don’t have the best circumstances. Whether it’s financial struggles, or blended families, or special needs, or relationship trials, or any number of things – I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t have additional struggles added to being a parent.
    But we muddle on and do our best and lose our $*#+ sometimes, but I think blogs like this and the possible honest vulnerable conversations it has the potential to spark, are vitally important to making it better – helping each person that is touched by it feel less alone, more seen, more heard.
    Thank you for sharing that you aren’t fine – neither am I.
    (I went from single mom of 3 to mom/stepmom of 6 about 5 years ago and some days are great, and some days, I just want to cry or scream or run away or all of the above! But you know something? I remember feeling like that sometimes back when I only had one – motherhood just isn’t easy)

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