One of my absolute favorite movies is Sex and the City 2. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the first one, but there’s some serious brutal honestly portrayed in the second film. My favorite scene, is when Charlotte’s daughter Lily, wipes her icing- filled hands on her mother’s skirt after being ignored. As you can see, Charlotte is trying to talk on the phone, bake, hold a crying toddler, and focus her attention on her older daughter at the same time. Rarely as a mother, are you only doing one thing at a time.
Though I can’t relate to having red icing handprints wiped on a vintage cream Valentino skirt; I can understand the exhaustion, and frustration that sometimes comes with being a mom, and trying to do it all. The end of this scene is her screaming at her daughter for ruining the skirt, and then going into the pantry “for a time out,” to hide and cry.
As a mother, the authenticity of this scene is so very appreciated, and something desperately needed in society. I’m asked all the time, “How are you?” or “How are the kids,” and my answer is always “Great,” or “Fine,” and it simply isn’t the truth.
I’m not allowed to say “Mommy lost her shit today and screamed at everyone,” or “I had to turn Netflix on for the kids, before I went insane.” That simply isn’t acceptable. We are supposed to be happy all the time, and enjoy every second with our kids, but that’s a lie. You hear alot of “They’re only young once.” or “enjoy every second, it goes so fast.” Now this is true, the years go by very quickly, but sometimes the days are very long. This is the part that’s gravely misunderstood.
Just because I don’t want to hear my name shouted 3000 times in a row, or I get upset when I have to clean up spilled beverages for the tenth time today, doesn’t mean I love my kids any less. Needing alone time doesn’t mean I want a life without them. I’m not taking time with them for granted, if every moment of every day isn’t a wonderful experience. This is life, and sometimes it’s really really hard. Some days I feel like an amazing mother and my kids are complete angels, and other days I am counting the minutes until bedtime, so I can breathe and feel like a human being again.
In the movie, Charlotte is well off, has a nanny, and is still overwhelmed with her kids and life. It just goes to show, this parenting thing is hard for everyone at times.
By the end of the movie, Charlotte can relate to, and empathize with Miranda a lot more; Who is usually blunt, a little pessimistic, and doesn’t sugar coat this parenting thing. I always thought, (before having kids) that I would be the Charlotte. I’ve realized (three kids later) that I’m the Miranda, and I’m damn proud of it.
I have to remind myself sometimes just how much I have on my plate. I went from being a mother of one to a mother of three. That was a huge adjustment on everyone, but especially as a mother, it was just tough. It wasn’t in my plan, but it was in God’s.
That being said, parenting isn’t a “one size fits all,” kind of thing. I have to navigate my way through it, the best that I possibly can. My journey through parenthood/motherhood will look a lot different than yours. I kind of think that’s the most beautiful part about it all.
So, I won’t apologize for the mess. I’m allowed to get upset, I’m allowed to cry. It’s okay to not love every moment, despite what others may say. We don’t have to always be great. It doesn’t have to always be perfect. No, i’m not always fine, but that’s okay.
-Gypsy Hearted Mama