Parenting is about lots of things, but it’s mostly about love. People always say becoming a mother changes you, “There is nothing like it.” or “Your life will never be the same.” Which is not false information, but man do they leave out a lot of crucial information.
I was eighteen when I found out I was going to be a mother and scared beyond belief. Daniel and I had been dating about a year and I was nowhere near ready to have a child. (I mean is anyone really though?) I remember confiding in my closest friends and them being very supportive of whatever I decided to do. I never believed in abortion, but boy do you consider it once you are faced with the decision. My level of empathy on that topic and so many others’ has grown tremendously. Which brings me to topic #1.
- Don’t judge another parent, period.
We’ve all said it. It’s okay. I’ve done it, though I’m not proud. The famous line “When I have a child, I will never…” “My child won’t ever…” Yeah sure. I’ve had to eat so much humble pie on this subject, you would not even believe it. Here’s the thing though, you will NEVER know just what that parent is going though, until you become one and even then, every child is different! It all makes sense now that I’m a mother.
Life is tough, and kids are hard work, It is a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week gig. No holidays off, no sick days, no pay, and almost no appreciation. I truly cannot picture life without these little Rugrats but seriously, the hardest job I’ve ever had is being a mother. When I see that mom or dad now, doing something I wouldn’t, I chalk it up to difference of parenting and keep It moving.
I always hear people say the first child is the sweetest, or the easiest and I have to laugh to myself. I can’t help but think God truly has a plan for us all, because I met my match with Mr. Raine. He was preparing me for having twins, because after Raine, and situation was a walk in the park! I had this idea of the kind of mom I would be, and that all went out the window when he was born. It could be the age I was, or the naivety, but whatever it was, I learned this:
2. There is always an “exception to the rule” child.
I wish I could say things always go smoothly but that’s a crock of shit. I’ve dealt with so much by being Raine’s mom. He is the child that I’ve read books about, created charts for, did all the possible things they recommend and still, sometimes it just doesn’t work. My patience had grown exponentially, and I’ve learned to let lots of things roll off my back. Not everything is going to be solved right away and sometimes you just need to put a pin in it, and figure it out later. Raine is my guinea pig, my little best friend, a pain in my butt, and my absolute whole heart. Parenting is about lots of things, but it’s mostly about love. When I don’t know what to do, sometimes I just give him a hug and kiss and say “let’s do better tomorrow.” Because honestly, none of us are perfect and how can we expect our little one’s to be something that we aren’t? (Yeah, I can be deep!) You have to learn to laugh about it sometimes and definitely have a bottle of wine handy for after bedtime! Which leads me to my final topic:
3. You can’t take things too seriously!
I cannot even count the amount of times I’ve been so angry or so upset as a parent. The chaos, the noise, (children are so loud!) the neediness, attitudes, messes, lack of sleep etc. But life is too short to be so serious all the time. Between the tantrums, puke, melt- downs at Target, and poopy- diapers, one could lose their mind. Try to laugh it off, and just remember that these crazy years go by so quickly. Once they are teenagers and ignoring us, we’ll be begging for those cuddles during nap time (when they just won’t fall asleep) or the theme song to the show they watch five million time a day! Those are the things we will remember most and the things we miss. So laugh, cry, and hold onto the moments with everything you have, (even the frustrating ones!) Because once it’s gone, we won’t have it back.
-Gypsy Mama at Heart